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Happy Birthday mahaliem! How Clark REALLY Defeats Villains... - tasabian [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Happy Birthday mahaliem! How Clark REALLY Defeats Villains... [Feb. 5th, 2012|07:44 pm]
tasabian
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Happy Birthday mahaliem! How does Clark defeat the villains of Smallville? His greatest power is rarely acknowledged, yet oh-so-potent....

"I will thwart your wicked plan."
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"Oh really?"
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Clark's so beautiful...it's hard to concentrate. C'mon now, focus!
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"I'm not going to let you hurt anyone, understand?"
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Aw shit, did I giggle? Was that a girlish giggle? His mouth...Stop looking at his mouth. Clark's lips have nothing to do with ravaging the world, it doesn't matter how lush they are. Lush and soft and-
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AND SO DOOMSDAY WAS VANQUISHED. NEXT!

I like this pose. It flatters my profile. I'll just keep sitting like this until Kal-El comes home!
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"Zod! What are you doing in my house?"
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Ooh, he looks so good and he smells good too. Would love to dip my nose in the hollow of his neck and- CONQUER THE WORLD.
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"Whatever you're planning, I WILL stop you."
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Should I undress? Was that a good cue? Maybe not yet. No, I mean, KILL ALL HUMANS!
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"You try anything, Zod, I mean anything and you'll find yourself imprisoned in the Phantom Zone."
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Oh Kal-El, can't you see I would eagerly give myself up to imprisonment...IN YOUR ARMS? We could rule this silly planet together...Sigh
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AND SO ZOD COMES TO AN EMO END.

Kal-El is very large but I could climb him.
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I am not programmed to notice pectorals and yet I do.
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"Tell me, Brainiac, what is your fiendish scheme?"
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"Kal-El, a merger between the two of us would be advantageous to both. With our shared programming we could-"
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"I am NOT taking over the world with you!"
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"With my infinite knowledge and your ass, I mean, assets....there is nothing we can't accomplish if we are together. And by together, I mean sharing a body. Your body."
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CONTEMPLATION OF CLARK'S BODY CAUSES A MASSIVE PROGRAMMING GLITCH AND BRAINIAC IS DEFEATED. BUT ONE VILLAIN FINDS THAT HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY.

Lex: "Clark, I am staring at you intently because your face is beautiful and I need to commit every part of it to memory. My hand is on your shoulder because I like touching you. I am standing close because my goal is to draw you closer until every part of me is touching every part of you. My eyes are a little dreamy because I'm imagining licking a pattern along the ridge of your abdomen..."
Clark: "Wait - No world conquering?"
Lex: "No, just sex."
Clark: "Have at it!"
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DEAR! *HUGS*

'caps by Smallville Dedication
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: rosy5000
2012-02-06 01:43 am (UTC)
LOL That does explain so much. Clark is pretty enough to distract pretty much anyone. Lex is just to driven to achieve his goal. ;)
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2012-02-06 03:14 am (UTC)
Clark is pretty enough to distract pretty much anyone.
His lipe and eyes ALONE....

Lex is just to driven to achieve his goal. ;)
He is indeed! And he has the advantage of being the prettiest supervillain, so....

Edited at 2012-02-06 04:39 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: christina_kat
2012-02-06 02:05 am (UTC)
That's so awesome!
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2012-02-06 03:15 am (UTC)
Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: ctbn60
2012-02-06 02:10 am (UTC)
Brilliant! You have gotten to the bottom of the mystery that is clark kent! So did lex apparently!! Whoot! :D

Happy Birthday Mahaliem!
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2012-02-06 03:16 am (UTC)
Thank you!

You have gotten to the bottom of the mystery that is clark kent! So did lex apparently!!
Lex got to the bottom and then started kissing it!

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[User Picture]From: phoenixnz
2012-02-06 02:18 am (UTC)
Haha just perfect. Clark is quite the distraction.
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2012-02-06 03:16 am (UTC)
Isn't he, indeed?
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[User Picture]From: mahaliem
2012-02-06 05:38 am (UTC)
This picspam was absolutely brilliant! I adore it so so much. All the photos you chose were perfect. Zod coming to an emo end made me laugh so hard and Brainiac really does seem to be checking out Clark (and who could blame him?)

You're right - Clark's prettiness is clearly the strongest of his superpowers. Thank you for making this! Thank you! Thank you!

*hugs and more hugs*
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2012-02-06 11:57 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it, my dear!

Clark's prettiness is clearly the strongest of his superpowers.
Definitely - that face compelled me to watch SV for all those years!

Zod coming to an emo end made me laugh so hard and Brainiac really does seem to be checking out Clark (and who could blame him?)
It helped that James has an admitted mancrush on Tom!
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[User Picture]From: xparrot
2012-02-06 07:15 am (UTC)
*applauds* Also, "With my infinite knowledge and your ass, I mean, assets....there is nothing we can't accomplish if we are together. And by together, I mean sharing a body. Your body." If only you had been writing the show! XD
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2012-02-06 11:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you!!! Brainiac would have LOTS of fun occupying Clark's body.
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[User Picture]From: sheliana
2012-02-07 11:06 am (UTC)
I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at Zod's face! God, who on Earth would ever find him threatening! He's adorable!:) And yes, Clark should only reserve his beauty for Lex.;)
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2012-02-09 12:44 am (UTC)
I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at Zod's face! God, who on Earth would ever find him threatening! He's adorable!
Zod really shouldn't have puppy dog eyes!

Clark should only reserve his beauty for Lex.;)
Lex agrees 100%!
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