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Smallville: What I noticed about Crossfire - tasabian [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Smallville: What I noticed about Crossfire [Nov. 4th, 2009|08:37 pm]
tasabian
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I think there's a SERIOUS conspiracy going on here, for reals! (Spoilers for "Crossfire" and "Kandor" inside.)



In this scene, Clark is about to be handed a microphone and I went: "Whoa! Unexpected Oliver!" It's not actually Oliver but he looks remarkably similar...

Not!Oliver calls Clark "Big Boy"and leers at him.

And then does this, which is somehow weird and phallic. Hand at crotch-level, why?


So...one Oliver lookalike isn't a conspiracy, but look who's coming up next week in "Kandor". This is Jor-El? We've seen Clark's daddy and he was not a rangy, spiky-haired blond.

I think this is an older Oliver from the future who has come back in time to mess with Clark's head, I really do.

Argh! That's Clark's dildo and Lex's purple testicle thingy. Stop playing with precious Clex artifacts, time-traveling Oliver!

Soon every SV role that's not Clark will be filled by Oliver. "I'm all around you, Clark. You can't escape me. "


Oh, and "Crossfire" also had Tess killing this bald guy to prove she is more bad-ass than he was. I am suspicious of that symbolism!


We are not amused.


'caps by kryptonsite & smallville PH.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: miss_tress
2009-11-05 02:52 am (UTC)
Argh! That's Clark's dildo and Lex's purple testicle thingy. Stop playing with precious Clex artifacts, time-traveling Oliver!

*claps hands over nose and mouth in a vain attempt to not spray water all over everything* HEEEEEEEEEE!
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2009-11-05 02:59 am (UTC)
Thank you! I HAD to speak up. How else can we resist the Army of Oliver, conquering SV one moussed blond at a time!
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[User Picture]From: miss_tress
2009-11-05 03:02 am (UTC)
I'm glad you stepped up to the plate for all of us.

Also: This is Jor-El? We've seen Clark's daddy and he was not a rangy, spiky-haired blond.

I still can't believe that SV expects to believe that dude plus Helen Slater equals Tom Welling. Methinks the Kryptonian version of the milkman was involved.
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2009-11-05 03:07 am (UTC)
I still can't believe that SV expects to believe that dude plus Helen Slater equals Tom Welling. Methinks the Kryptonian version of the milkman was involved.
Ooh I want to see that flashback (with Tom Welling as Krypton's foxiest milkman!)

I'm excited for Julian Sands but he is perfect casting for Robert Queen, not Jor-El! If Oliver turns out to be a long lost Kryptonian love child, it will be very funny.
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[User Picture]From: miss_tress
2009-11-05 03:12 am (UTC)
I think Tom would be the Kryptonian version of the guy that cleans the pool. Or maybe a gardener.

"Good morning Mrs. El! I'm here to shine the crystals!"

As far as Ollie being a long lost Kryptonian love child, has anybody checked to make sure he doesn't a bracelet or a ring with a bit of Blue Kryptonite in it?
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[User Picture]From: tasabian
2009-11-05 03:35 am (UTC)
I would very much like to have Tom for my Kryptonian pool boy.

As far as Ollie being a long lost Kryptonian love child, has anybody checked to make sure he doesn't a bracelet or a ring with a bit of Blue Kryptonite in it?
Wow, can you imagine? It would have to be a scrotum ring because we've seen every other inch of Oliver!
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